Pints of milk and Patrick Swayze: why I don’t want Back at Sunderland, Alex Neil

Less than a week after turning ten, my girlfriend told me she would never forget the exact where she was when she learned Steve ‘The Crocodile Hunter’ Irwin had passed away. I feel the same way about Alex Neil’s leaving Sunderland.

You know, that Friday, the missed news conference, the brisk disbelief at first, the gradual sense of an uncomfortable reality seeping in, the depressing numbing of the settling dust, I don’t think I’ll ever forget. The grim-faced Scot decided to leave the team he had just led to a long-awaited promotion on August 26, 2022, in order to take on responsibilities at Stoke City. Like Patrick Swayze in Ghost, he vanished into thin air and made a complete mess during an imprudent dalliance with pottery. Like Patrick Swayze in Road House, he also dealt a big ol’ roundhouse kick to my fragile sense of trust in the process.

Sunderland would, of course, move on fairly quickly, and last season under Tony Mowbray, Neil’s replacement, became more pleasurable and buoyantly optimistic than many Mackems could have possibly hoped for. In fact, Alex Neil was not mentioned on Wearside for a considerable amount of time. But he’s back now. If stories are to be believed, he would certainly like to be.
Alan Nixon claims that the 42-year-old, who is presently without a job after his gamble on Stoke City failed, would be “open” to the idea of going back to the Stadium of Light. Sunderland is still looking for its next permanent manager after Michael Beale’s recent departure. The circumstances are still a little unclear after that outrageous claim, but for Neil to be thrown out

Just when many in red and white had finally forgotten he existed, here he comes, waltzing back into frame like a previously written-off soap opera villain, pulling the scabs from emotional wounds. I have trust difficulties because of Alex Neil, and now I’m being told that I might need to find a way to set all of that aside in order to support him once more? There’s a lot to process.

To be completely honest, I don’t want him returning to Sunderland. There are primarily two causes for this. First of all, I would be dishonest if I claimed that pride had no part in this. Neil left us when everyone was enjoying themselves immensely, turning down a team and a fan base he fully supported for an offer he believed better fit his own goals at that point in his career. Naturally, that was his right—after all, he wasn’t shackled to a radiator in The Montgomery Suite; he was under contract. However, when you’ve dropped the vase and broken it into a thousand worthless pieces, don’t come crying back to us.

Even more relevant, though, is how things unraveled between Neil and the Sunderland board during his initial tenure on Wearside. Many speculated that the club’s transfer policy had been a major factor in his departure when he left. Furthermore, I mean “he basically confirmed as much himself” when I use the word “widespread.”
But let me tell you something, Alexander: not a single thing has changed. We are still very much a buy-to-sell kind of company, Kristjaan Speakman still parades about the Stadium of Light in a golden paper crown with ‘Transfer King’ daubed across it in Sharpie, and strangely, bizarrely, we have even less functioning strikers than we did when you snuck out.

It is hard to see how Neil could return to his previous work with any sincerity and hope for anything other than increased animosity because all of the frustrations that allegedly caused his first resignation will remain on Wearside forever. Whatever your thoughts as a reader or supporter about Sunderland’s present financial model may be, Neil has made it very evident that he does not think it is viable or long-term. He cast his ballot with his feet, and now we’re supposed to just put up with him scratching at the back door like a house cat in a snowstorm? Everything seems a little false.

And with that in mind, it is pertinent to reiterate that there might be absolutely no veracity to Nixon’s allegation regarding Neil’s seeming interest in a reunion with Sunderland. Maybe it’s simply conjecture, or regrettably disinformation that has been passed forward. But then again, maybe it is the real deal, so to speak—100% authentic, weapons-grade accuracy. In any case, let me be very clear about one thing to clear up any confusion: I have no interest.